“Embrace the anxiety”

Mental & emotional wellbeing

Claire Eastham talks about her decision to accept her feelings of anxiety. Despite what anyone says it is nothing to be ashamed of – and support is out there.

Claire Eastham talks about her decision to accept her feelings of anxiety. Despite what anyone says it is nothing to be ashamed of – and support is out there.

Imagine lying in hospital with two broken legs and hearing the doctor say, “what’s wrong with you? You’re pathetic. Can’t you just pull yourself together?” Anyone would feel outraged! If only a broken leg could be healed with a few stern words, the NHS would be under less pressure.

But the reality is very different. The body needs time and patience to heal itself.

Now imagine having a panic attack or feeling anxious, suddenly it’s more acceptable to be so harsh and unfeeling. The majority of the criticism comes from within ourselves. We feel frustrated and embarrassed by mental problems and often try and suppress them. If we can ignore those nasty thoughts and feelings for long enough then hopefully they’ll go away. Sadly this is one of the most damaging things that anyone with a mental condition can do. Rather than disappearing, the problems will only get worse.

Many people feel ashamed about their anxiety, and I use to be one of them. I thought that I was weak and a loser, and I wasted so much energy trying to act ‘normal.’ But eventually things came to a head, my body couldn’t take anymore punishment and I had a mini breakdown.

Despite feeling devastated that my secret had been exposed, I realise now that it was a very positive thing, because it forced me to face my problems. I’d been trying to walk on broken legs for years and now I was finally giving myself time to heal.

Think about it, would you feel embarrassed about a cold? Would you be ashamed of admitting that you have a headache? Of course not, you didn’t ask to fall ill it just happened, so why is anxiety any different? The more that I began to accept this idea, the stronger I grew.

The truth is, facing up to any illnesses is a daunting prospect. It takes time and great courage, but it can be done.

Facing up to any illnesses is a daunting prospect. It takes time and great courage, but it can be done.
Claire Eastham

Here are a few things that really helped me embrace my anxiety

Tell someone
Whether that be a family member, friend or colleague. Talk to someone who you trust and explain to them what you’re going through. Be sure to pick the right time, don’t try and talk to your spouse right before they dash off to work, as you won’t get the attention that you need. I made a list of symptoms in advance to help myself be concise. Being honest with someone will help to ease the burden instantly. I also directed family members to the Anxiety UK website for extra information. And if you need someone else to talk to, don’t forget you can even ring the Anxiety UK helpline.
Be patient and kind to yourself
Accept that for now certain situations will be harder for you to deal with that most people. Social interactions for example were a struggle for me. So whenever I went to a party or meeting, rather than criticising myself I made an effort to say, “ok, this is difficult but you’re doing really well. You should feel proud of yourself”. (Naturally do this in your head to avoid any strange looks)! After the event treat yourself to something nice, you deserve it.
Remember that you’re not alone
On average one in every four people in the UK will experience a mental health condition at some point in life. It’s much more common than you think and people will therefore be more accepting that you feared. The moment that I started being honest about my anxiety I was overwhelmed with support and similar stories by everyone from close family to random colleagues in the kitchen.
Embrace it and accept it
There is nothing to be ashamed of. FACT.

Claire Eastham writes about her experiences with anxiety and panic attacks on her blog www.weallmadhere.com

Recommended reading: ‘Understanding Anxiety’ – a guide produced by Anxiety UK, priced £3.99, is available via www.anxietyuk.org.uk/products or by calling 08444 774774.

If you would like to speak to someone at Anxiety UK, please call them in 0844 332 9010. This is a free dedicated Anxiety UK helpline for PHA UK members if they are feeling depressed or anxious and need some to talk to. The helpline is open from 9.30am to 5.30pm Monday-Friday. You can also visit www.anxietyuk.org.uk