Navigating the festive season with PH

“Christmas is generally considered to be a time of joy and celebration – spending time with family and friends, maybe reflecting on religious and spiritual meanings, and creating memories to cherish. However, when you have PH, there are additional considerations which may impact this time of year.

For all that it started as a religious festivity, often Christmas can now feel more about presents and socialising – and this can feel tricky when you’re balancing life with PH. Trying to manage invitations and meeting up with others, pressures from family, and looking after your wellbeing, can be a bit of a balancing act. This can also create a bit of stress financially, especially if we’re not able to work, or don’t have too much spare money at the end of the month. Factor in other considerations, like going present shopping in busy times, and potential expectations to host or to travel, and it can get pretty exhausting and feel overwhelming.

The emphasis is often on seeing the magic in children’s faces, visits to Santa’s grotto, his overnight delivery down the chimney, and the presents and food for all to enjoy. It can be absolutely lovely to see. And it can also be quite upsetting for those of us who can’t have children, or perhaps do have children but don’t feel as able to keep up and be ‘the fun parent’. Christmas marketing tells us repeatedly that it’s all about the fun and festivities with family, friends and children, which can sometimes leave us feeling a bit left out or different.

I am very blessed with some lovely godchildren, but I can’t pretend that my heart doesn’t sink when I hear the words, “can we go see the Christmas lights?” I would love to be enthused by this, and for all that I am a bit Scrooge-y on occasion, I do like the pretty lights! What I (or rather, what my lungs) don’t like, is walking around in the freezing cold, getting progressively bluer and more breathless, and trying to put on an excited face to help add to the magic for the children.

Other considerations include trying to maintain a healthy(ish!) diet and managing alcohol intake, at a time of year when there is so much emphasis on food and drink. It can be somewhat frustrating.

But living with PH doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy Christmas! Maybe it just needs to look a little different for us sometimes. Prioritising what’s important means that you can still experience the festive joy and create memories, maybe just at a slightly different pace. Who says we can’t create our own traditions (traditional Christmas Day afternoon nap, anyone?!)

Many people enjoy a nice crisp walk on Christmas Day morning (personally, I do not). If you go for a walk, perhaps factor in things like many layers, gloves, hats, and a scarf/snood that you can pull over your mouth, to keep warmer on a December day. Take breaks if you need to – not just on a walk,  but at all times. Your loved ones won’t want you to feel exhausted and unhappy at Christmas, and prioritising your health is vital. If you’re more like me and prefer to be indoors, maybe suggest sedentary activities together, like watching Christmas movies, doing a snow-scene jigsaw, and listening to festive songs.

It can feel a bit of a faff needing to plan ahead, but it is important that we are able to put in rest breaks, keep up with our medications and treatments, and stay hydrated. Sometimes it might feel difficult to tell loved ones how we’re feeling, and we may want to ‘protect’ them or not seem like we’re putting a dampener on things. However, communicating with them means that they will have a greater understanding of how to support us, whether it be they do most of the driving/travel arrangements, or you agree to avoid going to particularly busy or cold places. It may be worth moving your Christmas shopping online to save a few manic trips to the shops, or crafting personal gifts and cards to keep costs down.

There may be a few limitations and considerations, but Christmas is meant to be a time for celebration and joy, not intense pressure. By pacing ourselves, being open with others, and creating our own new traditions, we can still have a lovely festive season, even while coping with PH. After all (cliché incoming!), the best gift we can give ourselves and our loved ones, is our health.”

If you’re struggling at Christmastime…

“Christmas can be a tough time of year for anyone, regardless of whether or not they have PH. The financial strain can take its toll on anyone, feeling the need to provide gifts, food, alcohol, decorations, travel, and so on. This can lead to a lot of stress, and feelings of guilt if you don’t feel able to meet the demands or expectations from yourself and others.

Spending time with family can be difficult (I speak for myself here!). You can’t pick your family, and you can’t pick your in-laws (enough said…!). Family politics can be difficult to navigate, and spending a ‘joyous’ day with people you wouldn’t generally choose to hang out with or have conflicts with, can add to the stress of Christmas.

Loneliness often feels heightened around Christmas time, with a big emphasis on connection with others. All the adverts and marketing are aimed at the family unit, and spending time socialising with friends and co-workers. If we don’t have this network around us, or if we have recently lost a loved one, the feelings of grief and isolation can be intense to manage. Mental health struggles like anxiety and depression can feel heightened at Christmas, with all the changes in routine and expectations of ‘joy’.

For all that Christmas can be a wonderful time of year, for some it can be complicated and emotional. Try to do things that you enjoy, whether it’s watching some non-Christmas related TV, getting outside, doing puzzles, reading a book, learning a new skill, baking or cooking – anything that boosts your mood.

Treat yourself to something nice, which could be having some of your favourite food, a day in your pyjamas, or some pampering time. Perhaps avoid social media (where people will post what they want you to see – it doesn’t always mean it’s true), which can increase feelings of loneliness. Please remember that you’re not alone, and if you need to reach out for some support then there’s always people who are there to listen.”

These organisations offer telephone support 24 hours a day, 365 days a year – including on Christmas Day:

• Call The Samaritans free, day or night, on 116 123
• If you’re feeling lonely or isolated, the Silver Line Helpline, run by Age UK is a free, confidential telephone service for older people. Call free at any time on 0800 470 8090
• If you are experiencing a mental health crisis, please call  NHS 111