“Life is for living”

“I spent decades going to the gym, and even just a few years ago I was known as the ‘queen of squats’ there. Just before I got ill, I was working with a trainer, and he was coaching me to do 80 squats and 80 press-ups for my 80^th birthday, to raise money for charity. Everyone would joke that my real age was 34.

Getting diagnosed with chronic pulmonary obstructive disorder (COPD), and PAH just a couple of years later, was life-changing. I think for the first year afterwards I just sat around waiting to die. I was always at the gym, but now all I could do was buy plants, knit, and learn cross-stitching. And when I was told I had to start on oxygen therapy it felt like the end of the world.  

I’m not sure what changed – maybe I just got bored – but I eventually started to try and do more. And although it’s taken time, I’m beginning to accept things.

My husband Sean is 13 years younger than me and although it isn’t the retirement together that we imagined, we still do a lot together. We go for regular short UK breaks, and on lots of day trips. Whenever the weather is nice, we make sandwiches and get out for the day.

I’ve got a shopping trolley that Sean converted for me to transport the oxygen canister on and that’s made things easier. It goes everywhere – including along beaches, and through fields. It’s fantastic on rough ground as it’s got rubber wheels. It was a great idea of his.

I’ve stopped letting things hold me back. Last year, Sean and I went to the coast for the day and I wanted to paddle, but I didn’t know what to do about my oxygen. I think I just decided ‘that’s it, I’ve had enough’ and took my trolley into the sea.

Now I paddle all the time. I’ll lift my dress up and I’ll walk into the sea and Sean will stand there with his eyebrows raised saying, ‘watch your oxygen’. I’ve always been too independent.

We’ve been married for 42 years, and he is very supportive. He does a lot of the housework, but I still do all the cooking. And I do a lot in the garden, but I know I tend to do a bit too much. I’m still trying to get used to my limits and it can get frustrating. Losing independence has been hard to cope with.

There’s no getting away from the fact that my health conditions have had a big impact on being able to travel. Being on oxygen adds even more onto the high insurance costs, and at 81, with a few things wrong with me, a luxury holiday is cheaper than the insurance for it. But we enjoy our UK breaks, and getting dressed up for dinner. We get some good mid-week deals through Warner Leisure (who operate adult-only hotels).

Although I get frustrated about not being able to drive and having to rely on Sean to help me get to a supermarket, there are still things I can do alone. I do a lot of walking around the local area with my oxygen trolley. I’m a Neighbourhood Watch co-ordinator, meaning lots of people always stop me to report things and ask questions, so it can take ages for me to get anywhere!

It’s not been easy but I feel I’m slowly going back to ‘normal’, and Sean and I are out as much as possible now. What’s the point in staying inside knitting if I can be out doing something?

I think once you accept you’ve got this condition, you’ve just got to get out and make the most of life. Life is for living.”